You are an awesome person and it is lovely to meet you. Thanks for following along in my life’s journey. The next couple of blogs will be a series based off of “I am” or “I have” statements. 2019 has been a very challenging year for me in many aspects of my life. From my careers (youth minister and technology assistant) to my personal mental and physical health, a lot of it has taken quite a toll on me. This blog is going to be an introduction as to what is to come for the month of August. For now, I am starting to rack up the bills.
If you are just hopping into this journey of mine, I have been to a LOT of doctors this year. From being sick for six weeks to the negligence of a sewer company helping me discover a five-foot hole (yes, that is sarcasm you read in the latter) I have seen doctors for various reasons. I came back to my hometown, Reading, PA for Summer break. While here, I saw even more doctors due to my mental and physical health still not being well. The biggest hit I have taken this year is in my mental health. Those that know me recognize that I have battled depression for over two decades now. However, this Spring was the worst and most intense battle I have ever faced. Stemming from my accident, the latest cycle I faced continued for months. I began to have suicidal thoughts and even suicidal intentions. I knew I needed help.
I came home earlier than planned to seek that help. I have since gotten professional help during this time here in Reading. Rather than spending lots of time enjoying the outside, being with friends and family, I have spent most of my time focusing on myself. I came to the realization that I needed to help myself before I could help anyone else. On an airplane, they instruct you in case of an emergency when the masks drop to put your mask on before assisting someone else. The reason for this is if you do not help yourself first you could pass out from the lack of oxygen. If you pass out, you will not be able to help anyone next to you. That is where I found myself, passed out while holding an oxygen mask. I was no good to anyone, especially myself. That had to change for the benefit of not just myself but for others as well. I had very little to offer because I had allowed the isolation, stress, sickness, injuries, and other factors to drain the very life from my bones.
Now, I am tapping into my savings. That is this month’s introductory “I am” statement. Unfortunately, all these medical visits have started to deplete my safety cushion. I had a nice buffer of cash in my checking account before needing to tap into the reserves. I also had to give up three weeks of work in order to take care of myself and put my mental health needs first. If you would like to assist me during this time of not working for the Summer and help me pay for these medical bills, please visit my donate page on this website:
You can also use PayPal or Facebook Messenger if you would prefer to send me the funds directly.
I do not want to take up to much of your time today. So with that, I say thank you for reading. I hope you tune back in to see the start of this series. I will be writing a series with “I am…” or “I have…” titles for the month of August. With each blog, I will give you snapshots of these past few months and foresight into this upcoming season. Hope you all have a blessed day!
Author: A. P. Smither
Editor: P. J. Walk